Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon:

What Michael Jackson Meant To Me

by Charles White

“Gone Too Soon.” Those lyrics from Michael Jackson’s song about a boy who died from AIDS never hit home so hard for me until June 25^th, 2009. When Michael Jackson died, I couldn’t believe it. I first heard the story of him going into the UCLA hospital emergency room on Fox 5 at 5:30 PM ET. I figured he would be fine and out of the hospital the next day at the latest.

Then, I began getting numerous text messages asking me if Michael was okay and if he was dead. I responded by saying that he wasn’t dead and that I obviously didn’t know how he was. My best friend Jack called me saying that he heard on the radio that Michael died in the hospital and my girlfriend Linda called and said the same thing. I firmly told them that that wasn’t confirmed on any news station and that I don’t believe he was dead. Many people called me saying similar things about his death. I became more and more sad, angry, and irritated at their continued communication with me because his death wasn’t confirmed and I wholeheartedly didn’t want to believe it.

Then, NBC 4 confirmed Michael’s death at 6:30 PM ET. I was in pure denial that Michael Jackson was dead. I went to a church service to attempt to escape the idea that he was dead, but the guest pastor discussed his death. I told my mom he had died and went to my room. I started watching his Moonwalker movie on my computer and five minutes into it, I began bawling for a good twenty minutes. I suppose my mom heard me since she came into my room and embraced me until I stopped crying. I told her that I had had enough of dealing with shocking deaths and that I was bitter toward God for allowing Michael to die, and much more for dying from a possible heart attack or prescription drug overdose (as I later learned).

My world was shattered because my idol was gone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone for a long time. I was in denial for a week. My friends on Facebook and Myspace continued to ask how I was doing and say they were sorry to hear about his death. It was, as I said on my Facebook status, the worst day of my life to date.

Michael Jackson meant so much to me. One of my earliest memories is watching Michael’s Moonwalker film on VHS. My older sister Nefie introduced me to the King of Pop because she was a huge fan in the 80’s and saw and met him backstage on his Bad World Tour. She never thought that I’d become a bigger fan than her over time. There’s even a picture of me at five wearing an MJ hat. I first remember hearing his Bad album and admiring his singing abilities.

Next, I was mesmerized by his dance moves. Ever since then, I put Michael on a throne by himself and attempted to imitate his artistic abilities. I went into another world every time I danced; it was my favorite stress reliever. Before my home’s cable was cut off when I was nine, I recall watching his Remember the Time music video. After being exposed to his earlier albums and his songs with the Jackson 5 and the Jacksons, I completely fell in love with him as the greatest entertainment artist ever. I often performed his songs when I went to karaoke clubs with my sister.

It took me years to learn the Moonwalk, but I finally learned it in 8^th Grade. That same year, my dance class performed Smooth Criminal for Black History Month and I was MJ #2. It remains one of my most memorable achievements. I bought all of his music video DVDs and learned many song dance routines in my bedroom over weeks of practice. For Black History Month as a high school senior, I performed Billie Jean in the style of Michael’s Motown 25^th Anniversary performance.

During college I continued to love Michael, which made me unique at my school because many were ambivalent about him. During the first week in my dorm, I performed Beat It for my suitemates and new friends. In my sophomore year, I entered the talent show and performed an MJ medley of Jam, Bad, Rock With You, and Thriller to a raucous crowd. I won the grand prize. To encapsulate my MJ infatuation, I purchased MJ’s Ultimate Collection with the money I won. This was admittedly obsessive since I owned all of his albums beforehand. Moreover, after watching his Dangerous world tour DVD, I was mesmerized by his performance and creativity.

Over the years, I never stopped liking Michael even in the midst of his personal life problems. In addition, I defended him whenever people ridiculed, insulted, or teased him. When I learned about his comeback tour, I was stoked. I was so looking forward to his This Is It concerts because I wanted to see him perform one last time. The worst thing about his death to me is that he won’t ever get the chance to shine on stage and prove himself again as the entertainer of entertainers. He meant everything to me as an artist. He was the reason why I started dancing and singing.

I appreciated MJ’s songwriting, production, and business skills as well. His lyrics were so personal, his instrumentation so crisp, and who but the King of Pop would buy half of the Beatles’ song catalogue? He was extremely savvy in many ways. He was my true idol, icon, and role model all rolled into one man: a musical genius. It’s difficult to pick my favorite Michael Jackson song since there are so many. If I had to choose one, I’d choose two: a fun and an inspirational song. I love Billie Jean because of the introduction of the Moonwalk. I feel that Man in the Mirror is one of the best non-religious inspirational songs ever. Because of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, I will always start “…with the man in the mirror…” and take a look at myself “…and then make that change!!!”